For anyone getting divorced, get an anal-retentive lawyer. You'd be amazed at how sloppy they are: case in point. I bought FH out, and refinanced. Bank cut check for unused escrow to both of us. Now, we don't have a joint account. Check can't be cashed unless he agrees to write a letter. Which he won't, because you know, he can mess with my life, so he will. A careful lawyer (not mine, clearly) would have had this taken care of before I signed off on a new mortgage. Which in itself is liberating and terrifying. Think it's the two small children living under my roof that I'm responsible for that makes it scary. I mean, if I lost the house, it's just me. But W and T...whole 'nother ball of wax.
So, after asking nicely if FH would write letter so I can cash the check and get much-needed funds to, oh, buy groceries, and after his nasty refusal I am left to consider options. Lawyers are expensive, and sloppy. Getting enraged only makes FH happy and me nuts. So I've decided to eat the money. Just not cash the damn thing. He won't get any, neither will I. I'd prefer to give it to a charity, but again, I'd need his signature. So in the scheme of things, I'm left thinking I'll light a cozy fire in teh fireplace and burn the damn thing. I'm just too fed up.
I think this is the "angry" part of post-divorce. They say it gets better. We find happiness. Even love. Possibly. But not tonight. Still, I didn't get furious. I stayed calm. Perhaps this is worth something -- even that darn check.